pLAyIng GoD

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‘A reality altered, is faith being built in the gymnasium of obscurity’

Life is random; things happen throwing us in a boxing ring where we wrestle with our faith. We never truly know who we are until something drastic happens paralyzing us on our tracks. By that I mean, a tragedy can hit making us question the very core of our being and where we stand with Christ. Over the years in my walk with God, though am still maturing in faith. One thing I have learnt in certainty is When God wants your attention, He will get it. Where Christ wants to reveal himself…He will show up in the most unexpected circumstance which are very unrelated, untimely and unplanned. A few Sundays back, I woke as usual to prepare to go to church. Checked my phone and I could see I had ample time on my hands. While in the bathroom, ‘my thoughts wandered’ to Pharaoh of Egypt verses God who identifies himself as ‘I AM’. My meditation moment struck Exodus 11-12, which ended with God’s angel killing the firstborns of Egyptian both man and animals. This was the 10th plague that softened pharaohs heart a demonstration of power on God’s part to show a prideful heart that challenges Him in a ‘win or die situation’. I remember a voice assuring me how relentless God can be/was on delivering his children from bondage to an extent that other children had to die…a symbol of truth in/of the Word. This bared witness as the greatest act of love when he gave up His only son Jesus Christ who dies at the cross, the sacrificial lamb of mankind. Dressed and ready to have breakfast I picked my phone, only to see several missed calls and messages. I felt my heart drop deep as I read one of the messages, my little cousin not so little anymore had taken his own life.

I remember experiencing a level of paralysis where my body was numbed by some cold feeling that left a feeling of anguish and despair. I kept thinking and even uttered it loud at some point that “we had failed him”. At that moment as everything sank in, I could feel an extent of guilt. This is because I was once in the same boat; where your mental struggle vs your reality and how you perceive life, both holds a heavy blinded perspective that sees no way out but rather burdensome. I remember reaching this point where you can’t just seem to grasp your way out of it. It’s like you keep falling in a lonely pit of darkness and the little air you have is being pushed out of your lungs. I can also recall the first time I got to learn about his predicaments, I reached out to the closest relative and inquire if he was getting intense help because something had shown me it would be dire next time. Yet, I was too scared to voice my opinions out loud. The week of his demise, he had flashed in my mind to inquire if he was okay. This was my favourite cousin as a baby/toddler. I would even trade my Sunday morning breakfast especially the sausages or the eggs with my eldest brother just to carry him by myself the whole time in church. He was this adorable dark baby with a big hoarse voice, when he cried those of us on the church balcony would know Sammy was having a moment.

One time we had gathered to celebrate his first birthday, he was walking around the dining table opening his mouth to be fed by every guest. Well, my eldest brother in his all wisdom of pranks decided to feed him a spoon of rice mixed with hot pepper sauce. The baby boy could breath, he did not cry though but just opened his mouth to motion something was not right. We gave him orange soda, which he downed almost half a glass then thought it was funny and went back straight to my brother to feed him again the same food. I remember during the sleepovers, his love for cabbage and ugali as a toddler would amaze me. Fast forward as life would have it, we all went different paths due to family dynamics that was beyond us. They say when two bulls fight the grass suffers, well the last time I saw him physically after years of no contact, before me was a tall young man in suit walking out of church. One thing I noted is as he was walking towards me was that he was slouched, as if trying to conceal his height even though it made him stand out already. I was happy see to him including his brothers nonetheless, the pleasantries were very short and precise. At that very time it felt like we were more like long lost neighbours than immediate cousins. Next time I saw him was through a video call where he said his regards an immediately disappeared in the background.  In his Eulogy I could tell that he was a neat person something he must have picked from his father, with culinary skills a trait visible in the clan. Another thing that stood out was his love for music and that explains why he wanted to start a band. I remember him posting it on social media where he advertised the positions available and I thought at last! we were going to have a serious band owner in the family. Maybe you would have minister through music, granted that it’s a gift from God. What would have been the chances that your band would have spiritually echoed to a world so lost like David sang Psalm 40:3 He put a new song in my mouth’. You had a desire and instrumental gift bestowed upon you, granted the opportunity we would have witnessed the evidence of God image in us through your music.

Nevertheless, as God would permit it. A sensitive heart with a misunderstood mind can easily become a wandering soul and a broken spirit trapped in a desert of humanity. The further along we go, the lonelier it gets. What God taught me in this season of misfortune; was that the author of our being, creator and sustainer of life has the privilege to take this life which is not our right but bestowed on us through His mercy and Grace. Hence, the peculiarities of tragedies in our lives is the evidence of God in pursuit of man. He allows it in order to awaken our souls or make us aware of who are in Him. To bring us on our knees so He alone can meet us at that very point of our need. Lest we forget! It’s never about us, but for the Glory of Christ taking its rightful position to fill the very place the enemy thinks he has left empty. May that sitting space you left empty in the dining table in your home, be the very position that Christ fills and partakes in the family meals. As for the gap left hollow during family prayers according to His promise in John 14:16, may it be filled by the Helper/comforter/counselor who saturates our souls and abides in us forever. You remain in my heart forever as a tested soul that endured it’s time. As we remember the God who took the firstborn sons gave up his own firstborn Son.

Ps: The message on your last picture on WhatsApp a fresco painting by Michelangelo c.1508-1512 on Creation of Adam but then again one thing stood out, you choose close up of the hands. Where Adam’s hand on the left is a little limp and his index finger could be extended more. While, God, on the right, cannot reach out anymore, as his index finger is fully extended. Metaphorically all Adam has to do, is to lift a finger, and he will make the connection with his Creator.

Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.”

“There is only one who has ever been able to say He who is without sin cast the first stone, there is only one who has every right to cast the stone and chose not to do it.” Priscilla Shirer

John 7:53-8:11

Happy International women day!

 

To the women who have paved the way for us, leading into a contemporary world where gender roles is still a debatable subject.

To the women who stood for us and made the difference when the world perceived us to be the weaker gender.

To the women who lead us in positions which created equal opportunities.

To the women who inspire us through their idealogies by defining our roles in gender mainstream .

To the women who empowered us as daughters and molded our characters, nipping us in the bud in readiness for the society.

Lastly, to the women who are looking up to us for guidance and following in our footsteps. 

I celebrate you wherever you are.

You are magnificent.

Happy International women day!!!

I aM mY MotHER’s DaUGHter

As daughter, I reflect my mother! Therefore, I believe that…

“Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise.”

I mirror her words, her thoughts and her actions. Most of all I mirror her HEART. So yes, though my last name is my identity. When I walk, how I think, and talk reflects on who my mother is. As a future mother may my Heart reflect on God word, the attributes of Christ Jesus.

“All that I Am, I owe to my mother.”

thE caLL tO ObEDIEnce

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Have you heard the saying that ‘God does not speak to be heard but to be obeyed’? Let me give you a little background.

Matthew Henry: “Love is the root; obedience is the fruit.”

Now, I come from a place where traditional authoritarian regime is the order of the day. This is where a child will always be a child despite your age. He or she should be seen and not heard. A child’s opinion is null and void 99.9%, the 00.1% is for Yes and No questions. The authoritarian figure at the given time is never wrong (I have grown up to learn that we are all human, some skills do not come with manual rather owning up to our misjudgement does not make us weak and that man is to error). As a result, we grow up hating authority. This is because at the end of the day, what was the use of being subject to it when your voice is stifled. What was the use when judgement has already been tailored beforehand. Eventually we yielded to the rules not because our spirits were wiling but because the consequences of not abiding to the last letter were very dire. Our actions may have obeyed but our spirit was never in the rules, it was rebellious all through. Being a follower of Christ I have come to learn that submission lies in the heart, and because our actions are contrary to the spirit within us. Eventually, what is within begins to manifest in the outward and our actions start betraying us. So, when we grow up we separate from the authority and charter our own paths. What we don’t know is whatever was instilled into us during the tight fist regime always come back to haunt us. Because no matter how far we run or where we hide we are never too free.

So, I spent my years planning to run and hide far away from any kind of authority. These include anything where I would be subjective to anyone as I felt like any kind of authority over me would be oppression and slavery. I wanted to be free, as my aunt would describe like a chicken which walks out of its chicken coop in the morning and comes back in the evening. Don’t get me wrong I was not planning to do anything illegal or ill-mannered, I just felt rather oppressed by the system. Adhering to orders has never been a problem to me, it’s a robotic move that I mastered to survive. People love that robotic side that takes commands to the latter and executes them as said. But it was not until I encountered God that He stripped off this survival mode side of me. God did not want to deal with my robotic side just observing his commands and feeling obligated to follow them. For this meant that there was no relationship instituted but Master -Servant relationship. John 15:14-16 You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit – fruit that will last and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.

My heart had to yearn for its saviour, an open heart ready to receive from him. A heart cannot submit to authority when it does not desire to please its Ruler. When it comes to pleasing God the body and the heart must be in tune. So, when He speaks, and we obey the heart is already in motion eager to please its creator and not just masquerading in our actions. It was through Jacobs story that God showed me my fear of being under authority. Because the models of what I considered to be authority distorted the idea I had of what authority was supposed to be over me thus leaving me hard hearted. I remember this contributed a lot in my view of marriage, therefore, I was never in a hurry to tie the knot as I was Luke warm about a man being an authority figure over a woman.  But God was hot on my trails, He wanted to change my heart in authority and that obedience in him and those he sends to fulfil his purpose through us was different. That He was willing to listen to my voice when I call, and for him to make a move I had to submit and obey his instructions WHOLEHEARTEDLY. A day came two years ago, when God pushed me to a place where man describes between a rock and a hard place. I turned to that Rock of all ages, in that bathroom floor, I fell and surrendered to a point where my heart yielded to its creator who was in pursuit of me. I was in turmoil. I was losing the battle, my only hope and way out according to me and my own plans. God wanted me there, in that home, in that very work place in that very circumstance. Where He would manifest and show Himself to me. That everything that happened all through was to push me to that Rock where I fell and surrendered all to him. No more robotic life but an intentional heart ready to be used by Him. After that is when God answered me and I penned it down gRaCe AbOuNdS .

I used to have many questions about my life though some are not yet answered. God sometimes in his Grace and Mercy points out to me how if this did not happen then you would not appreciate my hand on this or that in your life. For I believe God in His wisdom and predestination of those chosen, makes sure that all that happens to us is for His Glory.  Genesis 32:22-32 We see God in pursuit of the true Jacob. A God who provokes calamities in our lives for the sake of revealing our sincerity in Him. The misfortunes thrown in our paths have a way of forcing us to contend with our true feelings and the reality of our faith. Many are the times we go to God, but our hearts are in other things and therefore we miss out on God’s desire to lift us from our misery. Because our destiny lies in surrendering our control to God and submitting under His authority. I love Jacobs story because when God meets us at our lowest and most vulnerable situation our identity is revealed, we cannot hide, for the heart knows the Master. D.L. Moody says that there will be no peace in any soul until it is willing to obey the voice of God.  There is beauty in obeying God. Just like the call of Moses everything pointed towards his anointing and commission in leading out the Israelites from Egypt.

“My sheep listen to my voice: I know them, and they follow me.” – Jesus Christ the Good shepherd and His Sheep

TruST hIM tO DELIveR

Romans 4.17 As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.”  He is our father in the sight of God in whom he believed –the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not.

God wants to be trusted with the big things, not just the small stuff… and this means things that shape our destiny. They include where we choose to work and not just asking God to help you pass the interview, or does he want you in that companyto begin with. The number of children we choose to have (yes… to those who are busy looking at their pockets and what they can afford.) Children are gift from God. The friendships we choose. The spouses we choose (This is key and it all started from the Garden of Eden). Where we choose to settle, it can be a foreign land or even somewhere within the parts of your own country. In otherwords life altering decision that will guide or change the course of your journey.

I remember one time someone close to me told me not to limit God but rather, consult him over the big and not just small things or ideas. This was around the time I wanted to make the big move from our home into a bedsitter. I remember that I was trusting God to give me at least provisions for this passage and then maybe I can furnish it as well slowly. I did not want a big house, just a small one tailored enough for my budget then I would be okay and fulfilled. At the time I did not realise it, but I limited God to my salary. In addition to the financial needs that needed my attention, I then decided for myself and God that I was suitable for a bedsitter. Don’t get me wrong bedsitter is a good start for anyone transitioning from home to a new job. But the thing was I had many financial commitments and moving out of home would stretch me too thin. At the same time, I wanted to go back to school soon, so I needed to save for this project. I remember trying scholarships, but it did not work so I resided to my fate. One time it had been my prayer to God that I may go to New York university I don’t know why I guess my love for America and the chance to leave in the big apple was then attached to it. But since my budget could never accommodate all that I settled for USIU-kenya. I even did my research got the applications form and started saving for my fees. Then I looked for a roommate to share a house with so that I did not have to pay for the whole house by myself that way am stretched thin enough to manage day by day… Am ashamed to admit that all these were my plans and I was fixing God in them by asking him to make it possibl. Bearing in mind that I was not yet confirmed in my then job and until the very last month of my stay God shut all doors for my confirmation. It was until I was writing my resignation letter and my boss was writing my recommendation letter that I got the offer on the table. Direct offer after serving them 3 years, isn’t the devil a liar! I never accepted it, story for another day.

‘Why do you limit God? Ask God for the big things and Trust Him to deliver.’ It got me thinking of how I used to ask God for little simple things that would push me through to the next. So, I set to change my approach and prayer. I had major plans and big dreams (still do) with a limited resource, when I say limited resources what I mean is that it was close to non-existence. Just as in Jeremiah 33 he promises to restore revealing His merciful and kind nature.  He says (3) Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know… and for all the good thing he will do (Jews) they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it. I remember reading and mediating on Joel 2:13-14 Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

When your life stretches you too thin and someone tells you to seek God and wait on him patiently for an answer. Depending on your faith, sometimes you might wonder of His existence. Considering that maybe you have spent years or months praying away your situations and circumstances. For example, I wanted to be confirmed in my work place at the time. Yet, God had shut all the door so that I could put my focus solely on Him and only then would He make a big move by uprooting me from the said organisation and leading me to greener pastures. But I was holding on, waiting and praying for a confirmation. According to me, having the job was the ticket I needed to sort everything in my life. Nonetheless, God had bigger plans for me. Taking into consideration that everyone around you is getting blessed in different areas of their lives but somehow you are stuck in these mud that you can’t seem to pull away from. We all have situations that we want God to work on and bondages that we need to be set free from. God is whispering that you can trust him. But how? When all odds are against you. Well! Am here to tell you that despite those years that seemed like he did not answer, despite your very present conditions. Joel 2:25-27 he promises “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed. Then you will know that I am in Israel, that I am the Lord your God, and that there is no other; never again will my people be shamed”. God the ever-present help in time of need, is closer than you think.  Christ tells us in John 14:1 Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. Speak life into it, believe it, claim it, pray over it and above all give room for God to do his perfect will. Trust God with your plans, He knows the best course of our life. Have Faith in Him, rest your confidence in our Lord Jesus. He is life. God does not need your help or your wisdom to bless, favour or even restore your life. He is the expert, the creator of heaven and earth, animals and you as man or woman. So, who are we to tell him what is best for us. If I trusted my wisdom I would not be where I am now. I would be stuck in a job I hated and an organisation that was meant to test my confidence in Him. Struggling to maybe go to school in the evening. My life would be miserable… am grateful I exchanged my plans for His plans for me. Because plans built on the very word of God, He says I will bless you with a future filled with hope, a future of success, not of suffering. A.W. Tozer says that God bless us not because we are good but because He is good. He also adds something profound True faith rests upon the character of God and asks no further proof that the moral perfections of the One who cannot lie. It is enough that God has said it. Praise Jesus, He is a Good God and His character is revealed to us through the faith that we possess in him! Mark 11:24 therefore I tell you whatever you ask for in prayer believe that you have received it and it will be yours. His every word is true. Now note that not all our dreams and plans are not answered as we want but we trust and serve a radical God… through Christ who appeals our cases, our situations and circumstances are overturned. A God of impossibilities. The Word Hebrews 11:6 say that it is only through faith that we can please God. Let me end by saying, have Faith in God!

Jesus said to the woman “Your Faith has saved you; go in peace.” – Jesus Anointed by a Sinful Woman

He IS iN aLl tHIngS anD tHRoUgh AlL tHinGS

I recently quit my job!

Colossians 1:17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

“Every miracle in the Bible first started as a problem.”

When God says “the time is ripe see, I have placed an open door before you (Rev 3:8),” it takes Faith wrapped in boldness to take the next step. Many are the times I believe we pray to God to change situations in our lives however when He starts making the moves we let fear cripple our belief and go back into our misery. This is because when God starts His work in us, He throws us in not so comfortable situations. He destabilizes our life as we know it, He asks as to take a leap of faith into a place of unknown or untold. I have learnt to welcome the changes in various areas of my life; while at it, it has awaken my soul with thirst for more of God. For I know His word is absolute, faith will triumph because heavenly promises are always kept.

So yes I left my job as God led me, I had worked for 3 years (Sept 2014 to Aug 2017). Where I started as an intern then moved to entry level. Truth be told according to “my plan” it was to be a short term contract. Get in, do internship as am looking for something concrete. However, God had other plans, He placed me there “temporarily” 3 years LOL! (He has a sense of Humor). In order to teach me a lot about myself and where my Faith stood (I was tested). I believe it was the best environment for my separation period. It reminds me of the story of Jacob (Genesis 32:22-32) in that solitude Jacob wrestled with God (typical human nature to fight God in everything). God was after Jacob’s heart, He wanted to lift His servant up and given Jacob’s history a fighter on the run. He wrestled with him and he yielded. God revealed Himself. Once again Jacob is compelled to give his identity but this time it is before God who is all knowing. He acknowledges truthfully and thereafter comes blessings and ownership of his life.

27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[a]because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

Three years is a long time, I learnt that God did not want superficial faith which was bail me out of this situation kind of God. He is and will always be after my heart, not just worship but complete surrender and ownership of who I am in Him. Once again I found myself before His presence completely out of strength, on my knees crying out to him “speak you servant is listening”. I had to surrender my anxiety, be quiet and stop striving and indeed I have seen His power manifest over my life (Psalm 46:10). He fought for me in the workplace when I was unwanted… He used unexpected person to keep me in the position until He was ready to lift me to the next place of royalty. He is a God who loves His Princesses, and true to it My Father is a King.

Beginning of this year He revealed to me of the great works He was beginning to do in my life. I was going to have a grand move as it was my last year in the work place. I remember I prayed for a move as I felt limited in terms of growth. At the same time I prayed that He may open away financially for me to pursue further studies. I believe He is Faithful and His Ears are inclined to His Children cry. Put your Faith in Him and surely He will answer of even much greater things. Time has come, He has opened away when everything seemed impossible and He gave me His word surely! It has comes to pass. As I take the next step of faith I know He is already there. He has set it up for me, for there is beauty and reward in trusting in our true God. He is a God of all Seasons and all times. My prayer is that He helps me to see the blessing that am walking on. “May I never step out of my obedience walk with Him in order to get something out of His will. Because for sure I will have to stay out of God to keep it.” Its all in His Hands for His Grace covers me. That is all I know and All I need. He says He made me out nothing so I will trust Him to take care of me…Glory belongs to Him who never left my side.

Mark 9:23 Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

Welcome to School of Postgraduate!!

 

BlinDneSS of the HearT#

“Once you fall in love… its different.” that’s what my friend told me a few days back According to friend dearest It’s easy to convince yourself you’re not in love with someone, until you see that person one day and then your Damn heart whispers, “Here we go again!”  Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement. Somethings you hide at the bottom of your heart because you don’t want them mentioned, others you hope someone asks about even though you’re hiding them. No need for perfection just be true and it will come knocking on your door!!!”

We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky,

PS: IF CHRIST DIED FOR YOU THEN YOU DESERVE MORE,

MUCH MORE

 

©2014

WoRLd Full of BroKeN hearTs & juDgeMentaL hYpoCriTes​

“It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you…the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.”

 

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

 

 

©2015

gRaCe AbOuNdS

She was not born of a silver spoon. She alone knows the weight. Masks hold such power and she wears hers like a crown on her head. She fights for everything because nothing comes easy. If she had given up every time she felt her life crumbling into pieces, she would not have the courage to witness that life goes on. Pain, eventually, renders her numb and she learnt to let go since giving up is not an option. Best believe, her faith has taken her places her fears dared not go because she choose to believe in that still small voice. That same voice that said “I will break you to make you whole…I will Raise you from the ashes, for I did set you apart in your mother’s womb. I knew you by name and every strand of hair on your head. I will go before you and level the mountains in your life. I know the trials and tribulations you will go through thus, I sent my Beloved Son to open way for Mercy and Compassion. Through him I said it was finished and I meant it. All you have to do is believe in me, I will show you how Magnificent I am and have always been. I am the same one who parted the sea for the Israelites to pass through. I provided manna in the desert and I provided a lamb when I commanded Abraham to sacrifice his own son Isaac. I sent my only Son as a demonstration of my love for you…through His crucifixion you were redeemed in my Grace. I, who am able to do exceedingly, abundantly even more than you could ever ask for, am faithful to those who choose to trust in me. I keep my word, and from generation to generation I stay the same. Be still! Allow me to come through for you, be patient in affliction and faithful in your prayers. Lay your burdens, worries, sickness and depression before me…Let me know the deepest desires that you have kept in your heart. Allow me to work in you and for you. Lay down your armor for you have little strength and you are weary of the troubles around you. Let me fight for you…I will shield you from the weapons of the enemy…my body is full of scars as an evidence of what was won at the cross for your sake. Yes! There is nothing too big for me; I have prevailed before and darkness bowed down, the curtain was split, no longer a hindrance but the mercy seat is reachable to you. I conquered death for you. I ask you again what is it that I cannot do? Submit to me, unload yourself of those burdens and delight in me that your desires may be granted. There are no impossibilities with me… There is no ocean I cannot cross for you and there is no storm that I cannot calm in your life. Call upon my name, petition your requests to me and I will answer. For I will never forsake you, I will never leave you. You will emerge victorious and through you, my name will be Glorified and praised. You are my own, I know what you have gone through and when you acknowledge my presence in your life I am delighted to know that you see my footprints in it. Do not give up, Persistence is the key that unlocks the faith and through faith I Place an open door before you. Do not give up, Wait upon me patiently I am working behind the scene. Though you might not feel my presences, look up to that Cross. Breakthrough is around the corner. Do not give up! those who trust in me are never ashamed. I love you with an everlasting love, I will build walls of fire around you and anyone who tries to come in unless with my permission will be burnt. Do not give up! For it is done in my name…A name so Great that at the utterance of it the chains in your life will be broken and you will be set free…Free indeed! Do not give up! The yoke cannot hold and the generational ties are cut in my name. From you I am raising a generation of remnants in me. You are a child of a king…a princess, royalty runs deep within your veins and since you have chosen me… I choose to fight for you and like the walls of Jericho I will bring the enemy down at you feet. VICTORY IS YOURS you just have to claim it in my NAME!!!!

PS: I have a way of making things Beautiful in my own time…I am not late; the timing has to be perfect I follow process. “

©2016

WeAvIng thE locKeT

“A cord of three is not easily broken.” Love is a CHOICE that comes with responsibility which should not be COMPLICATED… I recently met a friend and as we were chatting about the various aspects of our lives as usual… the topic drifted to “Are you seeing someone?” Well, this got me thinking…. I always felt the need to validate my relationship status of course why am I still single until recently when an Aha! Moment hit me. All my life I have tried Note the word tried to avoid meaningless relationships, I mean shouldn’t it be goal oriented? Therefore, I chose not to just settle. Call me picky, too choosy or even lack of greener pastures on my side remember I can mow my lawn, water it and end result lush green ahaa! …Well, for me a man is not responsible for my happiness. I have learnt how to go to God for my joy and filling. It’s a process; baby steps at that. Do not misquote me; for I know there are good men out there thumbs up to those who have found their adorable matches. However, I believe that if we just raise our standards just by a small margin we can stop drawing in the wrong ones. For me a relationship that’s moving too fast; especially when the conditions are not God-honoring or considerate of each other or others, result into dire heartbreak for our feelings tend to fool us and our understanding is limited. Only God knows when I will be ready for that responsibility of commitment; He’ll reveal the right person under the right circumstances and for that I will wait patiently!

“You can make many plans, but, the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” ~ Proverbs 19:21

Here is the Funny thing, am über thankful for closed doors or opportunities as many of you might say. They often guide us to that right one, why? A man is so much more than sex and money. I would like someone who just doesn’t promise yet, commits whole heartedly. You see the difference is a Promise is an assurance or declaration of doing something while Commitment is the declaration for which one tends to become dedicated to ensure that the declaration holds true. See, eh! Am not looking for perfection in a man or someone who will complete me (attributes of God alone).  Am in search of that simplicity in its own beauty that individuality of one whose imperfect yet brings out the best in me. I mean am that girl… inspiring me is good but when you make me laugh magic happens to my heart. Willing to go an extra mile to uncover beneath my fragile heart; a personality so complex full of abundance of thoughts and feelings which am great at hiding by the way. In my warm-heartedness, lies a sympathetic and understanding nature. I expect a lot from others and equally from myself too. May he know am a very good judge of character given that my downside is reserved; confiding my thoughts and feelings to only the very few that I trust. Am deeply hurt by rejection or criticism unless constructive but that’s depends on how you put it. However, am loyal and reliable; a permanent relationship is very important to me. He will not only have to break through the shell but bring down the sky scraping walls surrounding it for I seldom fall in love, head over heels nor do quick affairs. I will sometimes find it very difficult to clearly show my affection although those feelings are deep and sincere. May he learn to embrace my strengths at the same time understand my weakness. Maybe just maybe I am that one person someone somewhere is praying for. Hopefully God is molding me into the right and deserving hundred%.

 

 

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