Valleys & Hills to Motherhood

“The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother”

They say every mother has a story to tell. Well, allow me to include you in this journey of praying for a miracle, asking God for a baby. A prayer that renewed my faith and led to divine alignment as well as enlightenment.

We welcomed our darling daughter on 12th July at 9:25 p.m. she was overdue by eleven days. However, am believer that Jesus Christ is always on time. Therefore, anything with God’s imprint/Word on it can never be late. Our B-E-A-U-tiful princess came at the appointed date and time.

The journey to becoming a mother was not easy on my part, having suffered a traumatic miscarriage two years exactly before the birth of our daughter. Then came the ‘trying’ period in between before her conception. I can attest that this was something I never anticipated. I never once thought that I would get to a place where I would seek my Father’s presence and say Dear Lord, if it is thy will according to the desires within my heart would you please bestow me your honour and make me a mother. It seems farfetched then being that I thought babies we were made as easy as ABC and that it was all up to us the ‘babymakers’. This season of my life has brought Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” to a deeper spiritual awakening. God chose us before conception. He knew my daughter would be here, she is not an accident, each of her needs have already been met, her provisions and protection have been set in place. All under one covenant, the Lamb of God Jesus Christ.

Note, when troubles continue long, hopes have been often frustrated, and all creature-confidence fall, it is not strange if the spirit sink; and nothing but an active faith in the power, promise and providence of God will keep them from quite dying away. the height of prosperity to which, notwithstanding this, they shall be advanced: “therefore, because things have come thus to the last extremity, prophesy to them, and tell them, now is God’s time to appear for them.”,

O dry bones, Hear the Word of God Come Alive! Ezekiel 37:1-14

This prayer was made because there was a deep desire that only the creator of heaven and earth could fulfil. I desired a baby at time when my doctor was saying I was not medically fit to even carry one. Her advice was ‘wait’ at the same time there was a lot of consultation within my medical team if I should even go ahead and ‘try’. I felt deflated and hopeless after the medical review. I had to wait! I remember leaving the hospital feeling desperate. In that moment I stated my conversation with god. Why would I have this desire, yet it appeared impossible now. The Holy Spirit calmly instructed me go ahead you are ready. Contrary to doctor’s opinion. The greatest physician steps into the scene and He says “with the Father all things are possible” Matthew 19:26.

 

When I reflect on this period where I was actively trying for a baby, it dawns on me how human beings are limited in all capacity. More so, when you want something so bad; our walk holds a selfish perspective…and that was me. I would feel a tug in my gut when someone would tell me how they got pregnant by mistake or It just happened. It got to a point where I would just try and process how all this was happening to others and not me. Then other times, I would remember my situation was not anything and that at least there was hope since I had conceived before. I would encourage myself that there were women waiting on the Lord for years, an evidence through His Word. I also remember becoming anxious during my menstrual cycle; I would catch myself disappointed at the sight of it all. Every month would be “okay this is it” Hence, my mind would sometimes play tricks on me and I would exhibit early like pregnancy symptoms. I bought a lot of pregnancy test kits which am sure my husband saw in the bin 🤦‍. This was such a testing and trying phase, I believe at some point I was losing my sanity. I thank God for a wonderful partner, he grounded me through his patience, always relieving the pressure i felt and reminding that it will happen. That it was up to God and not us. We were just channels and vessels He uses to bring His own children in this world. We had no hand in it! However, to be honest I did drive him crazy with all the positions among other things such; as today is that day, am ovulating. All this sounds hilarious now but at that time it was a serious issue. He gave me a good man.

Anyway, my turning point came when I saw this lady, I follow on social media give a testimony on how she was expecting yet the odds were against her medically. We serve a living God, our ability to conceive rests in His hands. He alone can open and shut our wombs. Rather than rejoice on her behalf this time my heart was pained. I asked God how comes am still struggling? I had been desiring and praying this for over a year Lord. Then in that moment, the Holy Spirit rebuked me. I remember I was in a bus and tears were streaming down my face. when I reached home, I went straight to my bedroom and repented before God. As I left His presence,  The Holy Spirit whispered Romans 8:28 All things work together for good. I rested my faith in Him no more letting comparison steal my joy. I stopped being crazy about becoming a mother and went back to enjoying my marriage. Building my foundation and just fostering myself spiritually. I wanted my womb blessed, but it was no longer my focal point. Months later the signs from God began backed by His Word… The Holy Spirit was on top of things, confirming everything so clearly, I thought I was moving mad. Then God put it my heart to talk to someone specific about my “trying” journey. Unbeknownst to me God had imprinted on her to look for me as well and help me in this venture. Two months in after all ‘this’ nothing happened. I was growing impatient. Thank God once again for a husband who is full of faith and supportive, he knew it would happen. Just like that in the third month from when God told to get ready and prepare. Just when we least expected, it happened.

We were expecting!!!

Children are indeed a heritage from the LORD,

and the fruit of the womb is His reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

so are children born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

He will not be put to shame

when he confronts the enemies at the gate

Psalm 127:3-5

 

Published by

She from River Nzoia

Daughter of a King, I am a princess set apart and chosen for a His specific purpose (Deut 14:2). A disciple of Christ, Motivational Speaker on what it means to be a modern day Ruth. A wife, a writer and diplomat by profession.

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